It's happened to me and I know it must have happened to most of you. You plan your evening out with the lady in your life. Every little detail has been taken care of, the taxi, the resturant, the wine and then on to the music and the dancing. The problems arise when after eating all of that rich food and drinking to much of that expensive wine, you then gyrate violently on the dance floor. Of course, once your married, it doesn't matter so much, but now, at this critical time in your courtship---- BOTTY COUGH When your soul's full of zeal and you've had a good meal, having drunk all you could for the night, with the girl of your dreams nought but love you can feel then that sound gurgles up to night. You'd heard it before and had payed it no heed and it mattered just then not a jot, but it's stronger right now and it wants to be freed so your now in a bit of a spot. As you squirm in your seat she gazes at you,saying "is it nice to be out with me now?" but all you can think whilst gritting your teeth is to stop it, but when and just how? Your starting to sweat and beads run down your face, the whole night has turned into a farce, if only you'd kept from that bottle of plonk, the cork, you could plug up your a***. From way down inside the rumble goes on,but so loud now that even she hears, if only you could with a lift of one cheek, let it out and dispel all your fears. You know in your heart that the time is now due, and this beast from within must have out, that the girl at your side will put health before pride, be offended and abuse you and shout. So with care cast aside and with relief down inside, you part cheeks and let rip with your gas, but just as you do, from the seat next to you, comes a renting from the rear of your lass. With face glowing red "I'm so sorry " she said, "but no longer could I hold it inside", so you lift up your head, to the heavens you smile, you've got rid of your gas but kept pride. Leaning over to her, placing mouth next to ear, whisper "fear not for we never shall part, for the one thing tonight, my dear you have proved, is that women indeed need to fart".